Episode 14- Spreading SDT in Your Golden Years
Our culture, media, and financial industry are constantly telling us what our retirement season should look like. You may even feel ashamed or resentful if your retirement lifestyle seems like a far cry from their idealistic messages.
That’s where Self Determination Theory (SDT) comes in. In this episode, Danielle Howard explains how retirees can use SDT to find meaning in their fall season, rather than becoming entangled in the fear of missing out. Danielle discusses:
● What SDT is and three innate psychological needs it encompasses
● Why having SDT and an abundance mindset go hand in hand
● The characteristics of SDT and how to implement it in your life
● How SDT can help you feel in charge of your financial outcomes
● And more!
Join Danielle now and learn how you can cultivate a meaningful retirement season with SDT![00:00:02]Welcome to the Wealth Done Differently – Retirement Podcast. Danielle Howard – A Certified Financial Planner ™ shares insight into the financial tools, techniques and temperaments needed make the most of your retirement dollars and relationships. Danielle bridges the gap between Wall Street and Main Street, bringing complex financial topics down to earth. Danielle will educate and inspire you as you define and refine your version of prosperity. [00:00:36] Hello and welcome to the Wealth Done Differently Retirement Podcast with Danielle Howard a certified financial planner. Today is going to be interesting. I’ve seen the title of the podcast. Danielle, how are you. [00:00:49] I’m well Aric thank you for having me. What popped into your mind when you saw this title. [00:00:56] So the title, Spreading SDT in Your Golden Years, brought to mind a whole lot of seniors that are doing a whole lot of wrong things. Just not good. [00:01:09] Yeah that’s that’s an interesting title. What prompted that. [00:01:13] Well it’s a play on the letters and of course we can look at S T D – let’s not look at STDs – versus SDTs. But I think some of the inherent emotions around both are are pretty profound. I think a lot of pre-retirees and retirees are filled with guilt and shame maybe some resentment that’s perpetuated by the media and our financial services industry and especially within our culture about what this season of life should look like. [00:01:51] That’s interesting. So what I don’t want to go through what STDs stands for, what does SDT stand for? [00:01:59] So SDT is Self Determination Theory. And I think that we put that aside when the media’s coming at us and saying this is what your life in retirement should look like. And I think it’s perpetuated by that. You know the fear of missing out whether it is in the investment world where you know you look at what’s been going on in the markets throughout 2018 and oh my gosh what happened yesterday the Dow went down 800 points. [00:02:35] And you know that fear grips you more greed grips that you know I’m missing out and I should be getting those kind of gains in my retirement portfolio. So there’s that fear of missing out with your investment returns. And then there’s that fear of missing out with your neighbors. I look at it as the new Keeping Up with the Joneses and that’s when we’re really pressured into buying for our ego desires with fake money to impress our Facebook friends. [00:03:10] And I think there’s a lot of inherent challenges in that. As we look at what is SDT is that Self-Determination Theory it just is a total opposition of this fear of missing out and all of this guilt and shame and resentment that is just so strongly recognized. And this idea of what retirement is supposed to be about. [00:03:36] Well the picture that comes to mind for me Danielle is that we talk about keeping up with the Joneses. OK good. They’ve got a new car so I get a new car. They got a boat and I get a boat. But it can be something so much smaller. Like if you have a new group of friends especially retirees you’re starting to connect with others that that may not work at the same place you worked at because now you’re not going to work and having those friends. So it’s a different circle and their retirement looks completely different than yours. And if they go out to eat three times a week and they’re always constantly inviting you out even that is a huge difference in what you had planned on spending in retirement. Eating three times a week out at a nice restaurant compared to maybe once every two weeks or once a month as a treat. And you want to keep up that facade or you want to go out with friends, but I think at any age it’s hard to say you know what I just don’t have the finances to do that. [00:04:25] Well it’s about being intentional it’s about knowing what’s important to you and then taking charge of that. I come from an abundance mindset and it’s not about you know depriving ourselves that we want to spend within safe parameters. And I think that’s always really hard for for people in their retirement years to really know what that looks like. What what is their income stream, where are those income streams coming from? So as we look at this fulcrum point where this body of work on what is determining true well-being and happiness that has been being done since the 1970s. And there’s just more and more research on it. And all of these sociologists psychologists therapists all these people are looking in to what is true wellbeing and happiness and it is hitting this aging population that is transitioning out. Like you said they’re transient you’re transitioning out of your traditional career you’re maybe hanging out with new people and you’re seeking What does this time of my life mean to me. And when these combine and hit each other when people start looking into it what does true happiness mean in this time of my life. I think we’re going to have a lot of really exciting stuff happening but I think what’s important is that people have to set aside what they’ve traditionally thought and what the the media is showing us you know what is showing up in the advertisements on TV. And quite frankly what the financial services industry has sold us a bill of goods that is said you’re supposed to draw this line in the sand have a great big bucket of money and sail off into the sunset live happily ever after. Let’s take a look at what it means to have this Self Determination Theory or SDTs in your golden years. And what that really means. [00:06:25] Yeah I’d love to see a good picture. How do you get somebody to realize that SDT to your find out that they have an SDT. [00:06:33] Well let’s take a look at what may be a good description of that individual would be I believe it is somebody who believes to the best extent possible that they’re in control of their lives and that they have a mindset and an attitude that they’re going to be victors and they’re not going to be victims of circumstance. And this requires a huge amount of work. This is not easy to do. A SDT person is somebody who takes responsibility for their behaviors. They take responsibility for where they are at in their life. They’re willing to look at their situation and get a clear picture of what it is, you know, what is working what is not they are willing to decide what needs to change. Is going to be a person that is going to maybe exhibit some determinations and self motivation some possibly [00:07:35] grit. How about some delayed gratification. You know some characteristics that driven inherently and it’s not looking at circumstances or standards outside of themselves. It’s going to be somebody who determines their own actions based on what’s important to them their values their moral compass. And it’s going to be somebody who sees their life and their choices in life as having an impact on others in a beneficial way. So it’s something bigger than yourself. These are many of the attributes behaviors belief systems characteristics that exhibit that SDT. [00:08:19] All right. You’ve given us a picture of somebody who already has SDT. How do we help people that don’t. How do we help them develop that because it seems like a lot they’re going to need to overcome or maybe a change in thinking completely. [00:08:34] To me it is about awareness. And I think the first step is the awareness of what we’ve had pushed on us for so many years. The idea of Well I’m just going to take my Social Security at 62 because I’m afraid it’s going to run out, or tax issues are out of my hand there’s nothing I can do about that, or the markets are always going to fail us. And you know there’s just so much of that mindset out there that people are very much in a victim attitude when it comes to their retirement. And to me it’s just heartbreaking and it’s a big reason why I’m in the business that I’m in is to help people create an awareness of what’s not working. And I think the first thing that we need to recognize is our cultural awareness and our mindset about what this season of life looks like is broken and if it’s broken and it’s not working, then we have the opportunity to say OK what do I want to do differently and maybe start building on some previous wins or some previous behaviors and other areas of your life that can be carried over into your financial life. [00:09:55] I would love to – Can you give us a couple examples of what you’ve just at least one example of a client that you really have seen this behavior and kind of how it impacted their retirement and more importantly to me, I’d like to see how it impacted their children or even grandchildren. [00:10:13] We saw a lot of this after you know the economic pull back you know 2008 where people were just reeling over what they lost. And you know whether it was their real estate values going down or their stock portfolios going down. And we tend to it’s just a behavior financial behavior. Talks about anchoring and so many people have anchored to the pain that was felt during that time and said you know now I just don’t want to get back into the market. You know who knows when it’s going to you know to take a downturn again. I have had conversations with people where we had to really work through that. Yeah. Ok why don’t you want to get back into the market. It wasn’t just about the numbers. I can sit and crunch the numbers and show you need to get this type of return in order to look at the not only goals but transitions that you’re expecting down the road. The only way you’re going to get that is to have a long term perspective and to be in a diversified asset allocation model. And so it takes an education and awareness a conversation around well if you don’t want to get back into the market and you want to keep your money in a bank account. Are you willing to stop spending as much. Are you willing to take on that inflation risk or that future risk that you’re not going to have enough money to pay for the things you want to have today. The conversations just just play out. And that mindset where you just ask people questions about why do you believe that. How is that working for you. What do you want to do differently. And I wish I could say there is you know these light bulbs that go on at any one given point. But it’s usually many conversations. It’s talking about maybe some other wins in your life. Tell me about a time that you faced a challenge and you had to exhibit an attitude that saw you through that time and saw you out the other side in a successful way. If we look at what the SDT theory is about there’s basically three innate psychological needs to be competent to have autonomy and to create relatedness. As we look at how that plays out with questions with clients it’s I want to build on their financial efficacy. Where have they had wins at. How can we help people feel like they are in charge of their financial outcomes in the fall season of life. Whether it be it’s not about what the media is telling you you’re supposed to do. But let’s start asking some questions about what’s important to you in this time of life. It’s how do you get a return on life. How do we utilize the money that you have to address who you want to be and the things that are important to you. [00:13:29] Absolutely. Danielle, I know all the work that you do with your clients you have a ton of success stories but could you share one of them for us. [00:13:36] I have a gal who is 73 years old. She recently moved to our valley and she has been sharing her ideas about what she’s looking forward to in her next season of life. She is a widow. But she is creating a new business. She has a she was a nurse for 30 years and she is looking at opportunities to move into another facet of the health care sector that I had never heard of. It’s working with attorneys to be able to look at lawsuits and to she would be bringing in the health care side of that. And I just love the fact that here is a woman who is doing this because she loved the work that she did in her in her past. She is building on her success with that. She is looking forward to what is next. She is creating a new business. She is deciding where she wants to go with it. She is competent. She is getting the licensing that she needs to do with. She is getting involved with people that she wants to to be working with and you know creating a whole new life for herself at 73. And what I loved about her story was she didn’t come and say Oh I have to do this because I don’t have enough money and I know poor me poor me I’m a widow and I don’t have enough money. It was totally she was just excited about telling me what she was rewiring for what she was refiring to and what she was reaspiring about. Man I loved that. And I got that it got me excited to say all right we’re need to do with all the different financial pieces she recently sold a home. So she’s making some big changes in her life to facilitate this new adventure for herself. And I am just I’m excited to work with her. I’m excited to put the financial pieces together to best keep the wind beneath her sails. [00:15:58] That is awesome. It’s funny that you said keep the wind beneath her sails because that’s how you’re tackling it and that’s how you’re going to assist her while most financial service commercials or the media say that the wind in her sails should be on the boat that’s pushing her toward the sunset and she should just be off going going sailing and doing nothing besides just enjoying herself. [00:16:19] Yes. Living that life of ease and I’ve been contemplating yet another podcast. But let’s let’s talk about you know if we keep our grey matter inside of our heads working and challenged and I know those synapses are now firing and all that we’re not going to notice the gray on our heads but that is exciting to me. [00:16:45] Yeah I I’ve noticed the gray and I’ve earned every one of these so I’m I’m OK with it. Oh that is exciting that is really I want to hear an update in a future podcast of how she’s doing. I’ll keep you posted. That sounds good. All right do we have any closing thoughts for today. I mean we’ve covered a lot. What else do we need to know about the SDT generation. I think is what we call that. [00:17:08] I [00:17:09] think it is also looking at research is showing is that people are going to be more productive and purposeful when you’re supported by empathetic and positive people so surround yourself with family members with friends with your trusted advisers that believe in what you’re doing and they’re not trying to control you or give you direction. And this is another you know diversion from the traditional financial services industry where people are just you know they just hear about what you’re not doing right in your financial plan or that you need to save more or that it’s you know you need to keep up with the benchmarks and and do things a little bit differently. So I think it’s important that people get a financial adviser who’s not shaming you into that you’re not saving enough for retirement and to find somebody who is really going to support you and clarify your version of true prosperity and true wealth. Somebody that’s going to help you refine and optimize all those financial tools because most people are looking at a 20 to 30 year timeframe in this new season of life. You want somebody who’s helping you with these life transitions not just helping you to say Yeah we beat the benchmark this much, and here’s your 4 percent distribution for this year. And I think we need to talk to each other. I think we need to you know again I keep going back to communication communication communication. But as we connect our means with our meaning or our piles with our purpose we’re going to find a lot more fulfillment in life and our money is going to provide us with a lot of that fulfillment. [00:19:07] And the conversations are going to be be richer and on a daily basis that our days are going to be filled with the things that make us happy and make us smile. [00:19:19] We know that we gravitate toward people that are similar to us in our thought processes and our desires and our energy level things like that. So the question because the last question is how can our listeners that have SDT help spread SDT. [00:19:41] I think sharing their journey. Yeah this gal that was sharing her journey with me I think would inspire and motivate others. Yes. And you know so I think we just need to be willing to talk about again creating an awareness of the fallacy that’s being created in our media that no that isn’t working for where we’re at. Wow, I’m ready to start taking a look at what I want out of life. What’s going to make my day, you know, wake up excited in the morning to step out of bed with a little bit of zest. What’s going to fill my day to where I put my head down on the pillow at night and feel rewarded. What am I gonna put in between that space and how do I share that with others to encourage them to speak life into their next season. I get it. You know this is not being pollyannish and saying oh we just have to put on a happy face. There’s a lot of tough stuff out there and especially as we look at the aging process. You bet there are health challenges there are life transitions that are not necessarily too exciting and that’s actually our next podcast. All right. So it leads into that one. But to say you know how do I do the best with what I have and get intentional about it. We’re joining a group of people that have this mindset or want to get on board with that as we delve into our 8 week doing your dollars differently in retirement e-course and people can sign up for that and join either like-minded or find a group of people who are wanting to do their dollars differently in retirement. You can download the monetary manifesto on my Web site at W W W dot Danielle Howard for you dot com. And let’s just create an awareness that we want to look at life differently that we want to decide what are we grateful for today. What do we want to create today maybe who can I serve today. And it just creates a new mindset and new momentum about what this rich and very rewarding season of life looks like. And what it could be. [00:22:09] Yes. Absolutely. Well thank you Danielle so much for today. It was a riot. [00:22:13] You bet. Thank you Aric. [00:22:15] And thank you all for listening to the Wealth Done Differently Retirement podcast with Danielle Howard. If you have not subscribed to the podcast yet please click to subscribe now button below. This way when Danielle comes up with a new podcast it’ll show up directly on your listening device. If you enjoyed today’s podcast as much as I did I would encourage you to share with your friends and family. We want to spread it as much as we talked about today. We want to spread this message and the content of the podcast. I’ll leave that to you. Again, thanks for listening today for everyone at Wealth Done Differently, [00:22:44] this is Aric Johnson reminding you to live your best day every day. We’ll see you next time. [00:22:50] Thank you for listening to the Wealth Done Differently – Retirement Podcast. Click the subscribe button below to be notified when new episodes become available. The information covered and posted represents the views and opinions of the guest and does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of Wealth By Design, LLC.
The Content has been made available for informational and educational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional investing advice. Always seek the advice of your financial advisor or other qualified service provider with any questions you may have regarding your investment planning. Danielle Howard, Certified Financial Planner ™ is an Investment Advisor Representative of Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, a Registered Investment Advisor. Securities offered through Cambridge Investment Research Inc., a Broker/Dealer, Member FINRA/SIPC. Cambridge and Wealth By Design, LLC. are not affiliated.