Episode 15- Financial Affirmations Part 1 – Bringing Money into your Life with Integrity, Dignity, and Grace
Danielle Howard is determined to change the way people see retirement. Our media and financial services industry have led us down a path where our mindset around retirement often creates feelings of guilt and shame. Now, Danielle’s working to change those negative money mindsets through financial affirmations!
In this first part of Danielle’s Financial Affirmations mini-series, Danielle explores how you can bring money into your life with integrity, dignity, competency, grace and joy. Danielle discusses:
● What positive affirmations are
● Why the way you bring money into your life can impact your success
● How to remove the negativity around your retirement
● How to start redefining yourself in your Fall season
● How Danielle has applied positive affirmations in her own journey
● And more!
Tune in now to learn how to turn up the volume of your positive affirmations, so you can reach a more fulfilled retirement![00:00:02] Welcome to the Wealth Done Differently – Retirement Podcast. Danielle Howard – A Certified Financial Planner ™ shares insight into the financial tools, techniques and temperaments needed make the most of your retirement dollars and relationships. Danielle bridges the gap between Wall Street and Main Street, bringing complex financial topics down to earth. Danielle will educate and inspire you as you define and refine your version of prosperity. [00:00:36] Hello and welcome to the Wealth Done Differently – Retirement Podcast with Danielle Howard a certified financial planner. Today I’m excited to introduce a four part series and let’s get Danielle in here to talk about it. Good morning Danielle. [00:00:49] Hello Aric. How are you. I’m doing well thank you. [00:00:53] Good. Danielle there is a noise in the background that’s not normally there during the podcast. What is that. [00:01:01] That would be the Roaring Fork River at its Fall Winter level. I’ve got the window open today because we’ve got a gorgeous blue sky day here in Basalt, Colorado, and it is warm in my office. I love having the river right outside my window because it reminds me everyday of why I do what I do and guiding people with the flow of money through their lives. [00:01:26] That’s fantastic it sounds great. How how why is that at that point buy your by your office. [00:01:32] Let’s say you could probably throw a rock across if you’ve got a better arm than I do. It’s really low right now so there’s actually areas where you could walk across it. Spring runoff where it’s good they get up there again. [00:01:50] Oh wow. Yeah I bet. All right. So why don’t you introduce the series to us and tell us what we’re going to be covering over the next four podcasts. [00:01:59] Over my course of 24 years in this business, I have wrestled with personally the mindsets around money and we know that you know sometimes having positive affirmations in our lives can really guide us and lead us in making some changes. So many years ago I put together a financial affirmation sheet and I’ve applied it in my own life and I walked alongside clients and introduced it in various ways and capacity [00:02:32] throughout the years. I thought it would be a great idea with the four weeks if we just took a look at each one of those financial affirmations in four different areas. How money comes into your life, how you share it, how you nurture and grow and protect it, and how you spend it. [00:02:52] All right and you have given me the four affirmations. Do you mind if I read them. Love for you to. All right, so the first one is I will bring money into my life with integrity dignity competency grace and joy. I love that one. The second one is I will share my financial resources with moxie and momentum. Number three is I will nurture grow and protect my financial life with diligence wisdom and care. And the last one is I will spend my money within safe boundaries and joyful intentions. So I assume that we’re going to be covering the very first one which is I will bring money into my life with integrity dignity competency grace and joy. [00:03:36] Is that right? That’s the one we’re getting hit today. All right. Aric have you ever thought about how the financial decisions about you know looking at how you bring money into your life everyday and how they impact your relationships your health your spiritual journey possibly your financial sustainability and how that changes and their impact over time as you enter into that fall season of life. I know it’s still a little ways away from you but there is change on the horizon. [00:04:10] There it is. It’s funny you say that because the older I get the more I become a little more concerned about certain areas of that question and certain areas and less about other areas. I want to be able to do things with my money and do them wisely. I want to be able to bring it in with integrity like like the statement says. But at the same time I’m want to be a little bit more careful now. I’m not quite in those later years but I know that retirement is coming someday whenever I’m allowed to. It’ll come someday and I want to make sure that I’m ready for that. So I’ve got to be a little bit more cautious. [00:04:44] I think these days and I was maybe 15 20 years ago. Conscious and conscientious, and I think there needs to be an awareness of what our culture has kind of led us the path that it has led us down the financial services industry our media that we’ve created these mindsets around this season of life that’s created a lot of guilt and shame that we don’t have – I picture a particular financial services firm that one of their advertising plays a few years ago as lots of people carrying around their number underneath their arm. And I it just made me nuts because I’m like oh my gosh people are just focused on on their number or that you what you should do in this season of life. And I think in my again my course of working with clients over the past 23 years and from being on my own financial money journey, that we need to we need to look at it differently and we need to capture these mindsets that haven’t been serving us and that have really kind of put a bad taste around money in this fall season of life for many people. And we need to start redefining it. So I love the idea of looking at what is a positive affirmation. And we’ve used them in different areas of our lives. What are some of the your thoughts around how we views maybe some financial effort not financial, but just some affirmations in your life. Has that ever been a part of your day to day activity. [00:06:28] Yeah, actually it is Danielle. I’ve worked with a lot of clients over the years as a coach and as a consultant and during that process I used this quite often when we’re doing goal settings our goal setting for them. And especially that first statement like you have on every one of these affirmations that you brought today and the ones we’re going to be covering over the next three weeks is the words I will. And so whenever they had a goal whether it was weight loss or getting to the gym or if it was spending more time with their family or if it was saving more money or doing more at work, I always had them write out their goals as ‘I will’ and then whatever they wanted to accomplish because it’s really powerful statement. And then the funny thing is is that the other thing that I associate with positive affirmations is Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live; right. So you know his statement was ‘I’m good enough. I’m smart enough and, doggone it, people like me’. And it as funny as it is the positive affirmation or the thought behind positive affirmations is really really empowering if you do it correctly and you begin to believe what you can do and what you want to accomplish and start looking toward those goals or becoming that person that you want to be. [00:07:39] Exactly. So it’s changing the language of our brains. It’s that rewiring our neuro pathways it’s taking thoughts captive and seeing if they’re serving us or not and where or not we need to consciously shift it. So the idea behind positive affirmations are they are usually spoken out loud they are often repeated and they’re going to encourage and uplift the person speaking them. And as you mentioned, positive affirmations are always in the present tense so that I will, I choose to, I am. Basically, they’re ‘I am’ statements. And your your brains will start again rewiring to bring that into existence. And there’s all sorts of research out there and many of us are very familiar with you know the idea of positive affirmations. But I think when it comes to our financial lives it the noise that’s coming in in the other direction is sometimes we feel it can be louder. So the goal of this four weeks together is going to be how can we increase our voice, how can we increase the volume and amplify our financial affirmations. [00:09:03] Yeah that sounds great. I mean it’s a must do for anybody who wants to make those changes or wants to live that life that they’re looking for. [00:09:11] Yes. And the positive words that I use in these you know these are mine, and I’ll share some of my story around on them, but I just encourage people to use these for a while or come up with your own. But they need to have positive words. They need to reflect your values and what’s important to your existence. [00:09:35] And they’re spoken as statements of fact and truth and I know I’ve wrestled in the past with you know in the past with this just a fake it till you make it type of thing and yeah maybe sometimes – Yeah – but it’s very powerful. [00:09:53] You know I agree. It’s just that you may not believe that I will do this or I am this but again you say it over and over because if that’s your goal or that’s your desire you can have the ability to do that with some self-discipline and really staying positive and ignoring those outside influences that will tell you you can’t or you aren’t. Exactly. [00:10:15] You know that that I should do puts you in that position of of of pressure where I choose to I will put you in a position of power and we need to consciously decide to do this. And especially around our financial lives because there is so much outside noise coming in. And unlike the river running past my office the outside noise coming at us is very detrimental to our financial you know existence, sustainability, all the things I mentioned before, our relationships. And so we want to take charge and you know declare what we want to be our own financial truths. [00:11:01] Ok so I want I want to ask you a little bit about this first this first affirmation. I will bring money into my life with integrity dignity competency grace and joy. Can we break down those words and why you chose them specifically. [00:11:17] Sure. When we’re looking at especially at the rewirement season of life so many times people want to just draw that line crossover and sell off into the sunset dressed in white linen with a cocktail in hand. And I think that many times when we’re in the accumulation phase of our lives you know it’s a little so much of our identity is wrapped into what we do for a living how we exchange our time for a paycheck. And as we shift gears and move into this fall season you may change careers you may scale down or even leave. And we need to wrestle with what does it mean to be to have integrity about how we’re bringing money into our life. I have worked with with people that have really wrestled with the idea of I’m not going to be bringing money into my life with a paycheck anymore. And I now need to turn on a faucet with the IRA or the 401K or Social Security. And because there’s a loss of identity with what they’re doing during the day that integrity that is you know holding oneself to you know a moral principle or living in your financial authenticity kind of gets gray. And I think we’re challenged to say alright what does that mean to me as I look at this fall season to maintain that integrity over how money comes into my life. So it may be changing forms. You’re not exchanging your hours for a paycheck anymore, but I truly believe that you can have integrity in your rewirement years in your retirement years in how you bring money into your life and living in that financial authenticity is about understanding how that money is coming in and maybe knowing it’s going to change and say are right. Is it going to come in in different ways by looking at bringing money and through the gig economy. You know maybe it’s AirBNB wanting to rent out a room or your whole house part time. Do you want to do TaskRabbit. Do you need to bring money into your life. Maybe you don’t need to actually continue that exchange of services or product for a paycheck or for money but you need to say what fills my day and if my money is going to be coming into my life through my 401k Social Security business income or something else. What does integrity in that situation look like. Aric I’d like to share a little bit about my own journey with this integrity component ton bringing money into your life. Well I was raised in this industry in the product world. Twenty five years ago the financial services world was very much product focused. You sold life insurance you sold mutual funds you sold something. So the idea of financial planning was really revolving around how do you quote unquote do a financial plan. But the idea is to sell a product. And I really, coming into this industry, I learned a lot about different tools to use and different ideas around you know what it means to have a healthy financial life and I got to the point where I said I can’t sell product anymore as a way of bringing money into my life. There are good products out there. There are very good financial tools. For example you know insurances there’s definitely a reason and a fit for those products. [00:15:23] But I had a crisis of my financial integrity and how money was coming into my life in that I didn’t want to just be a sales person. I saw this idea of of being a true what we call fiduciary to look out for what is my client’s best interest. And I needed to really look at my business model and how I wanted to change that. And it’s it’s taken some time and we’re now seeing more and more of the financial services world shift into this advice culture. What does it really mean to serve a client and look at their entire financial picture. And so I had to walk through this process myself and say when I’m bringing money into my life in a way that I feel good about, that I feel I am bringing a service to the table, that I’m exchanging something of value which is my knowledge and wisdom which has grown over the past 24 years and I can charge for that knowledge and wisdom that makes me feel good. And I just want to share that in one of my opportunities along this journey to really take a look at what it what it meant to have integrity in my financial life. My husband is recently, last May, he is in the process of rewiring again. [00:16:57] So he left a paid teaching position and is now we had to sit down and figure out do we still need you to bring in income or what is going to bring meaning and purpose to your day. Or you know how do you find that integrity in how we turn on the different spigots from a pension that he had, or looking at the teaching para component, and that was was part of our processes he rewired into his next season. So it’s an ongoing it’s never done. It’s you’re always going to want to be revisiting this and asking yourself Do I feel like there’s anything I need to address in the you know I’m bringing money into my life with financial integrity. [00:17:50] You know definitely not a one and done. Definitely have to re-evaluate where you’re at each you know each stage of your life. I agree with that. So that the next word in the affirmation is dignity. How do you break that one down. [00:18:04] Well dignity is that sense of self-respect. And this kind of overlaps into the integrity but as many people shift into that second half when you leave a career or a job that’s given you a deep sense of purpose that was quantified by that paycheck. You know what are you going to do with your day. And really grasping with that your self-worth is not your net worth. And it’s not about how much you have in your 401k, your bank account your home equity, or the money received from working but you need to look at what brings that level of self-respect. And you know I know people wrestle with Well I’m no longer working and I’m I’m not worth anything. You know we see that with a lot of men when they leave corporate culture, is whereas my worth coming from. And I love the quote from Viktor Frankl; he shared everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment there and he cannot be replaced nor can his life be repeated thus everyone’s tasks are unique as his opportunity to implement them. And this you know it doesn’t end at retirement. We all are are here on this earth to fulfill a purpose. And I think that as we look at the dignity of bringing money into your life it’s not about the quantity, it’s about how you feel about your day to day choices and what fills those days. [00:19:55] Absolutely. Competency is an interesting one to me. I’m really interested to hear your perspective on bringing money into your life in the later years in a way that’s competent. [00:20:09] Our competency is about knowing what you have and how to use it wisely. It’s knowing about what economic season we’re in and about what kind of tax environment where and it’s understanding what financial vehicles you’ve maybe put into place and in years past for example a life insurance policy. You may have bought a life insurance policy 25 years ago, and to feel competent in how you’re going to use that now that you’ve reached retirement. Is there cash value in it. Is there a way to take some of that cash value out in a tax efficient way. How does that impact the policy. It is taking a look at you know what kind of an economic climate are we in, given that we just had some tax changes and you know we’ve got a are we in a growth environment or are we looking at a recessionary season or a winter season down the road. How would that impact our cash flow needs. It’s about understanding the best way to take Social Security. So this is really where you know in my mind this is where a lot of the rubber hits the road in how you bring financial resources into your life in a way that is going to create sustainability, where it’s going to help you address and undergird the opportunities and challenges in looking at your lifestyle. What kind of a lifestyle, how much do you need for your lifestyle, longevity; how long are you going to live. Crystal Ball is broken in my world. I don’t know. Liquidity what you need for short term versus long term needs. What are you trying to create for way down the road with your with your legacy. So all of the decisions you make around how you bring money into your life need to be made in really – with competent decisions. Now I get that the majority of people out there, this is not their wheelhouse. So I think a big part of feeling competent and claiming competency in your financial life is getting your team together. And whether that is looking at what you know what type of a financial adviser is going to serve you. Is it somebody who’s just helping you with your investments or is it somebody who is giving you advice on your very broad based financial life. I think is is going to add to that element of competency in how you bring money into your life during your retirement years. [00:22:53] Absolutely. It’s so important because unless they’re willing to go out and get a tremendous education and there’s no way they could match the experience but getting an education they need to get somebody on their side. And so I, again, anybody listening to this Danielle is absolutely great at this and she’s got a lot of experience. So for that compensate the competency factor, you might want to reach out. Which brings us to our next word ‘Grace’. [00:23:17] I love the word, and I have no idea how it ties into this but I bet you’re going to tell me. I think of grace, and again these are these are my words, this is what has really helped me to walk along this path of what I feel it takes to have a healthy financial life and a financial life that I can live with in my integrity. I like to think of bringing money into your life with grace as part of that is with just total gratitude and knowing yeah to know that every day we are grateful that we have money to make choices over you. That shift something right there. If I can say I am grateful that I can write a check and pay a bill and I connect with my mindfulness I can acknowledge that yes I have enough in in the checkbook to pay the bills. I may need to you know make some tough decisions. I may need to manage things a little bit differently. But if we come about it from that attitude of gratitude I think that leads into the next component of grace is that elegance or refinement or an attractive way of behaving. Absolutely. And I look at OK if I have money coming into my life with grace I am grateful for it and I’m going to have it look good as I make my decisions about what I want to do with it next. So that attractive manner of behaving, the decisions I’m going to make. I might make better decisions if I am grateful about how money is coming in. I have worked with a lot of people over time who have either received inheritance or possibly a death benefit proceed and they feel guilty or ashamed or unworthy and even entitled. And this is not being gracious about how this money is coming in to you and I think again we need to capture those those thoughts those feelings and maybe take a look at the issues that are coming from. Why do I feel guilty why do I feel ashamed or unworthy. Maybe even, wow am I feeling a little entitled around you know this money and how it’s coming in. Take a look is that serving you and is it helping you to make decisions in an attractive way in an elegant way. And if not maybe it’s something you want to take a look at and start again an affirmation that is going to claim a different space for that for you. [00:26:08] I agree 100 percent. It’s great that you equated Grace with being gracious in that I know that we all probably know somebody who has worked really hard their entire life and they deserve their retirement they deserve it because it works so hard. And yes you work hard. You do deserve it. However to act like you deserve it or entitled I’m entitled to this and I get what I want. That’s a completely different attitude and I think that flows right into the last word. If you have that attitude you really lack some joy in my opinion. So what else do you want to unpack about joy in this in this affirmation. [00:26:45] Well we all want to be joyful. That to me is kind of the candy coating affirmation. I want to bring money into my life with joy. Yeah when we are grateful and joyful about money coming into our lives. I work really hard to live a joy filled life in all areas of my life and I know that it isn’t based on circumstances. [00:27:09] For example if this podcast flops and my e-course doesn’t fly I still maintain joyful attitude knowing that what I did and all of this and being creative and working with this amazing team that I am it’s aligned with my heart and my desire to help people. My husband Mark and I have have had struggles over our 26 years of marriage and I remember way back saying boy I hope that we can share this journey about how we got through this to encourage others. Because life is hard and we need to look beyond ourselves to how can we work alongside others and that’s where true joy is. And so when it comes to our financial resources and how they’re coming into our life, if we have all those other pieces in place, the you know the integrity the dignity the competency the grace the elegance the manner of behaving you know being grateful for what we have. We’re going to have a little bit of joy and whether we’re working it out and having fun at what we do or whether we’re you know volunteering somewhere or spending our day on the golf course you know what does it take to look at having a joyful life. [00:28:36] Danielle I believe that everyone’s true goal would be to to live a life with joy, and to live a life that reflects that joy not only in their own life but to others. And I think that one thing that’s going to be coming out of this podcast series these next few podcasts is the fact that we all have our own stories. And if we were to put all our stories into one basket and help everybody explore those they would see they’re not alone. The struggles that they’ve had whether it’s debt whether it’s bad decisions whether it’s really good decisions and then something gets thrown into the works. Everybody has those stories. I think that if we were to share those with each other people would understand that they’re not alone and they have resources out there that are people that understand where they’re at and where they want to be and can help them get there. You alluded to your journey with Mark, I’m hoping over these next three podcasts that you can dive into that a little bit more and share with us the road that you were on and where it took you and then where you made that decision to take the road that you wanted to take to the point you’re at now. Is that OK with you. [00:29:40] I call it the road less traveled. I stole that from somebody else. I’d be honored to do that because, you’re right on Aric, I think we do need to create that that culture of financial vulnerability and that undergirding that nobody out there is alone and that we have the opportunity to do our dollars differently in this new season of life. [00:30:03] Absolutely. What do you have for closing thoughts for us today. [00:30:07] Well we have created a financial affirmation piece that you can print out and we’ve gotten two to a page, so you can get a copy for yourself and share one with a friend. You can post it up on your mirror in the bathroom so you can read it every morning. You can put it on your computer screen. So, I encourage people to download that at W W W. Danielle Howard number four letter U. Dot com. We also have an opportunity for you to start building your retirement competencies by taking our eight week learn in the privacy of your own home in your pajamas doing your dollars differently in retirement e-course. We’re launching that in January. What a great way to start your 2019. find that again at W W W. Danielle Howard number four letter U. Dot com. And I encourage you all to stay tuned next week we’re going to affirm the idea of sharing what you have with moxie and momentum. And I will, Aric, I’ll share some of our struggles and wins. [00:31:22] That sounds good and I’ll join you with that too because I’m going to a few stories that might surprise some folks. So I hope that’s okay. Oh boy. Yeah. Yes. All right thank you for listening to both done differently in retirement with Danielle Howard. If you have not subscribed to the podcast yet please click to subscribe now button below. This way when Danielle comes out with a new podcast it will show up directly on your listening device. It makes it much easier to share these podcasts with your friends and family. And please do that because these affirmations are fantastic very powerful and it can really change the direction of their life and their their retirement years. Thanks again for joining us for everyone at Wealth Done Differently – Retirement. This is Aric Johnson reminding you to live your best day every day, and we’ll see you next time. [00:32:05] Thank you for listening to the Wealth Done Differently – Retirement Podcast. 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The Content has been made available for informational and educational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional investing advice. Always seek the advice of your financial advisor or other qualified service provider with any questions you may have regarding your investment planning. Danielle Howard, Certified Financial Planner ™ is an Investment Advisor Representative of Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, a Registered Investment Advisor. Securities offered through Cambridge Investment Research Inc., a Broker/Dealer, Member FINRA/SIPC. Cambridge and Wealth By Design, LLC. are not affiliated