Episode 18- Financial Affirmations Part 4 – Spending Money within Safe Boundaries and with Joyful Intention

Do you set safe boundaries for spending money? Are you making purchases that feed your soul or stoke your ego?

Danielle Howard is here to explain why these questions matter. In the final part of her mini-series, Danielle explains why setting spending boundaries and making purchases with joyful intention go hand in hand.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why we need to ask ourselves the question: just because we can, should we?
  • How purchasing personalities shape spending patterns
  • Why safe boundaries are really about your attitude and mindset
  • The difference between a soul need and an ego desire
  • The importance of spending in line with your values
  • And more!

Join Danielle now to learn how you can spend your money within safe boundaries and with joyful intention!

[00:00:02] Welcome to the Wealth Done Differently – Retirement Podcast. Danielle Howard – A Certified Financial Planner ™ shares insight into the financial tools, techniques and temperaments needed make the most of your retirement dollars and relationships. Danielle bridges the gap between Wall Street and Main Street, bringing complex financial topics down to earth. Danielle will educate and inspire you as you define and refine your version of prosperity.

[00:00:35] Hello and welcome to Wealth Done Differently – Retirement with Danielle Howard, a Certified Financial Planner. Today is part four of our Four Affirmations. Danielle has taught us about finances. And we’re going to get into that fourth one today. Good morning Danielle how are you.

[00:00:50] I’m well thank you. Happy New Year Aric.

[00:00:52] Happy New Year. This is this is good stuff.

[00:00:56] So this is a great way to start the year. I think so. And I’m going to start with a question for you. All right. What area of your financial life did you experience

[00:01:07] your version of success in 2018 and what would you like to continue to build on this year.

[00:01:14] Well me personally started to work with a couple of different companies in 2018 that really kind of change the direction of what I had been doing and kind of broadened my horizons a little bit, which I’m very excited about. And so that’s it’s brought some new income opportunities to us and so in 2019 my wife and I are really focusing on getting ourselves out of debt. We have the mortgage and a few other things that we need to get paid off and would really like to establish a much firmer foundation for us in the future.

[00:01:42] That sounds like a great way a great intention for the New Years so you are bringing money into your life with integrity competency dignity grace and joy.

[00:01:54] As best I can. Yes ma’am. All right. Notice I didn’t ask you

[00:02:00] what did you resolve to not do in your financial life. Well you know I think so many times we started our new year to say oh I resolved that I’m not going to eat at fast food restaurants anymore, or I resolved not to spend so much money. And that’s about what we’re not supposed to do. And the whole idea of having the financial affirmations and keeping everything in a positive context is to not focus on poor behavior but to build on belief systems and attitudes and behaviors that are working for us. And I think we get more momentum and more energy and more excitement and possibilities when you do it that way.

[00:02:47] Yeah absolutely. And I know that we’re going to review these affirmations here in just a moment. We’re going to begin the process of talking about number four. But before we do that in case there’s some folks that are just joining us and this is their first podcast listening to you can you please remind everybody why do we need to be saying these affirmations or why are these affirmations so important.

[00:03:06] Well I think no matter what season of life you’re in lots of people out there want to learn and grow and as I’ve worked with clients that are moving towards that retirement or fall season of life having a positive perspective on your financial world is absolutely paramount because we have a world that comes towards us with a lot of shame and guilt,

[00:03:30] and what it should look like. And I just think it’s important that we look at affirmations and the benefit of them as it opens up to possibilities.  It opens us up to our potential. And as I work alongside clients I want them to live in their full life potential and making sure that their financial components that that that play into that are working as best as possible so it opens up the possibilities. I also think that positive affirmations – Dr. Daniel Amen talks about killing the ants that automatic negative thoughts are our circuitry in our head that over a lifetime builds up with a lot of negativity. And I think we have to actively combat that. I think it’s an active everyday intentional choice to choose a different way of thinking to choose different behaviors to choose different attitudes. And we need to kill those ants continuously. This helps us to create those new belief systems and if we believe that we are capable of living in our potential and that we are living a healthy financial life that is going to change our attitudes. It’s going to help us move to a attitude of gratitude where we can be thankful for what we have which frees us up to make different choices and our behaviors are going to change over time. So it’s it’s contextual around making the the different financial choices whether it’s you know in a variety of things and today we’re going to talk about spending choices, but it’s also the feelings that go with it.

[00:05:17] So I think it’s really important for us to have keep positive affirmations whether it’s in our health our relationships our financial life in front of us every day.

[00:05:28] All right. Do you mind if I review them real quick. Would love the hear them again. All right.

[00:05:32] We’ll start at the top.  We’re dealing with number four today but I’m going to read the other three for those that are just joining us or just to remind everybody else what those were. Number one I am receiving money with integrity competency dignity grace and joy. Number two as I am sharing my financial resources with moxie and momentum.  Number three I am growing protecting and nurturing my financial life with diligent wisdom and care. And if you did not hear that last podcast it was fantastic so please go back and listen to that one time and the other two as well, but that’s the one we just spoke about. And today we’re going to be covering ‘I am spending my money within safe boundaries and joyful intention.’

[00:06:08] So today we’re talking about spending. Right. And that’s what everybody likes to actually listen to this

[00:06:15] most people are thinking I just spent a bunch during the holidays. Please stop stop talking about spending but this is exactly why we need to talk about it.

[00:06:22] Exactly. And personally this has been my most challenging area of her over my life is in the area of spending and in my book I talk about purchasing personalities.

[00:06:36] Let’s dig into those a little bit and everybody I’d just like to consider with you would consider yourself when you make purchasing decisions are you cheap. Are you frugal. Are you grandiose. Are you intentional.  To expound on a little bit cheap is when you make a decision to buy on price point or just buy low.  Low quality items and you just have because it’s inexpensive.  Frugal, I think of it as more as avoiding waste. It might involve a little less expense but it’s thinking through the decision a little bit more maybe not buying as much being very possibly thoughtful and avoiding waste. Grandiose is an ego purchase may be made to impress or buying for a label just for its own sake and intentional is about purchasing quality when it reflects your personal values and the items that will endure over time. It is mindful spending. It’s not just pushing a button to make an ill thought out purchase.

[00:07:51] For myself I know most people would think oh you know if spending has been your issue

[00:07:58] you’ve had some credit card debt in the past or maybe made too many spending choices.  And that isn’t my situation is quite the opposite. I was one that didn’t spend any money or I would buy based on price point only and I would buy it if it was on sale I might not need it. It was cheap so I bought it, and it specially played out at the grocery store and I really had to take a look at where that message came from. And I was recently helping my mom clean out her closet and the woman has 20 pairs of different black pants from the thrift store. I’m like oh my gosh I know where it came from. Yeah. Yeah. You just buy because it’s cheap and it was a dollar fifty I couldn’t help myself.

[00:08:48] But you don’t want to miss out. Right. And the bottom line on a lot of the sale things like what it’s on sale I don’t I don’t want to miss the sale. But if you really think about it I don’t need it but I just don’t want to miss the sale.

[00:09:00] Exactly, and I think this is another big one that has bugged me over the years when it when something is on sale they say you saved 50 percent. Now does it not save a dime.

[00:09:11] You spend less but did you even need to make that spending choice. For myself I had to work very hard over the over the years to move towards that intentional mindful spending and ask myself a lot of questions. One of them that I ask is just because I can

[00:09:32] should I. I think that’s a really important one.

[00:09:36] And as you know especially for folks that are moving into the retirement season rewirement season.  They may have built up wealth over time and they have extra at this point in their life and they think you know well I’ve it’s mine, I’ve earned it. I can spend it any way I want but I think we need to ask ourselves the question just because we can should we.

[00:10:03] Yes. And that’s a great question to ask when we don’t ask ourselves that enough. And so I guess I kind of leads to my question to you is when you’re talking about safe boundaries in this affirmation I’m spending my money within safe boundaries. What does that mean. What what do what are those safe boundaries.

[00:10:20] I think that’s a real important question for people to ask themselves. To me it is more we’ve heard you want to live within your means or spend less than you earn and as you are in your rewirement season you may be on more of a fixed income.

[00:10:36] You know what is coming in from Social Security you’ve got a pension you deserve. What kind of a drawdown rate on your IRAs are your 401ks can you make. You may have investment real estate that is producing income so you may know what is your financial safe boundary of living within your means. And I think it is also about looking at the impact of our spending decisions not only on our own lives but for the sustainability of the planet. So you may consider a safe boundary as wow if I make a spending choice am I creating waste. Am I making a decision and not thinking it through about the long term impact of that. So for me personally when I look at safe boundaries it’s not only about you know what is the amount of money I have in my life that I have to make financial decisions on but what is the impact of that spending choice not only down the road but you know  how is it going to impact my children or my grandchildren or the amount of plastic in the ocean or -you know

[00:11:54] No that’s a great point. I have struggled and it just drives me bananas honestly to go that it’s the third drawdown in mind in my kitchen next to my sink and that’s why I have my Ziploc bags right. That’s where I’ve got those sandwich baggies or the gallons of blocks or whatever. Nothing against Ziploc. Good company blah blah blah. I personally know that I put something in there and when it’s done I throw that bag away. I don’t like that. I hate that because I think OK I’m one person. How many of these do I go through. And the smaller thinner bags are just impossible to wash away and throwing them away. I hate that so we’ve got a vacuum sealer thing and I’m I’m being more intentional about using that so that I don’t have to throw that just a small amount of plastic away, but I know that all the plastic that I do throw away is just too much.  So I get that and that makes sense for a boundary.

[00:12:45] Right. And there is there is – I love innovation nowadays.  There’s new products out there that are recreating the plastic bags. They’re made out of hemp or they’re made out of materials cornstarch that they dissolves over time or –

[00:13:02] Yes I think people need to do their homework to look at what’s working what’s not working. But defining what your safe boundaries are to me is much more than just the quantitative element of knowing what financial aspects but that’s looking at those long term impacts of your decisions.

[00:13:24] Danielle using the example that I talked to you about about my Ziploc bag problem, I know that one option is like that vacuum sealer thing but those machines can be kind of expensive. Right. It’s great. It’s wonderful. I love it. I love using it. I feel like I’m making a difference when I am able to reuse things over and over. It’s kind of a little of a bit of an expensive investment. So for the folks that are on fixed incomes they may not be able to go out make a purchase like that to make that change. What about them with safe boundaries and how they can change.

[00:13:57] I think with folks that may have more the constraints on their income I look at safe boundaries is more about your attitudes and what are you focusing on with your mindset. And this is how we can shift over into capturing thoughts that are not serving us and may be more of an attitude of gratitude.

[00:14:23] And I think this is one of the biggest struggles that people have around money is because our world is coming at us and telling us what we should look like what retirement you’re supposed to be sailing off into the sunset with a cocktail in hand dressed in white linen, and people are left feeling guilty and doubt that their life does look like that. Well that is not necessarily a picture of financial or true wealth in somebody’s life. Look at your attitude and you just look at what is really really important to me and what is my perspective on what I have. If I can be grateful and I’ve traveled to a lot of third world countries and I have seen people who are incredibly generous and incredibly kind and incredibly happy and they live on very little. Absolutely. And I feel that maybe sometimes our safe boundaries are just around our attitudes about what is true wealth in our life. And to shift more towards a daily decision to be grateful for what we have in and live in a abundance mindset instead of that scarcity mindset of well I don’t have what the neighbor next door has or I don’t have what the media’s telling me my retirement should look like and capturing that and that ‘ant’ automatic negative thought and squashing it.  And saying I so appreciate being able to go outside today and to make the decisions around the limited you know the income that I do have and I’m going to make wise decisions.

[00:16:12] Yeah I couldn’t agree more. I had a wonderful opportunity when I was in high school to go down to Argentina and Paraguay Brazil and while we were in Argentina we were invited to host families homes and they would have dinner for us and so two of us would go and spend time with them. And I remember getting to this house and it was made of cinder block and it had a tin roof on it and went in and the floor was just it was interesting I had never seen anything like it it was super shiny and beautiful. And she had so much pride in her home. And they had very little. The young boy was there. He showed us his TV. They had a TV so that was you know like that was kind of their his pride was his pride and joy you know as a young man I think was probably around 12 and then we sat down and they invite us to eat with them and break bread with them and it was it was an amazing meal, and that floored Danielle was dirt. It was a dirt floor that she had swept and swept and swept to the point where it was shiny and I didn’t realize it was really looking closely it wasn’t tile it wasn’t anything. And I felt so ashamed of how I felt. In high school in the United States I grew up in Washington state. And just knowing that they were so happy and so willing to share what they had as little as they had they were willing to share it with us. And how selfish I felt for just you know being concerned about what brand of jeans I was wearing at the time, was I going to fit in with, you know, would somebody make fun of me at school because I had no Sears brand or whatever compared the Levi’s or whatnot and it was a real eye opener for me so I know everybody does or they don’t you know not everyone has that epiphany moment or can have that by going to a third world country like you did and like I did at that point. But being able just to find the joy and have that appreciation for running water and things that they have in their life even if they are on that fixed income or they don’t have the finances that retirement shows us we should have on that boat in white linen. I think a you’re right it’s a completely different mindset and it’s very very important. Which kind of leads us to the the next piece of this. We’ve talked about the safe boundaries.  The last part of the affirmation is joyful intention. So what about spending with joyful intention.

[00:18:26] That’s the fun part. Yeah.

[00:18:28] If you’ve looked and define your own personal safe boundaries and I live in the mountains of Colorado and we ski and I look at safe boundaries. If you are skiing within the boundaries you can really enjoy it. You know what your ski level is you know what you feel safe with, and you can have an amazing day if you says stay within the boundaries. If he goes outside the boundaries if you go under the ropes and get into an avalanche area or start skiing in a place that has been shut down for a reason you’re going to get yourself in trouble. And so that joyful spending decisions, that joyful intention, is based on the fact that within those safe boundaries you’re going to have a good time. You going to really enjoy life. You know whether it is defining your safe boundaries about how much is enough for yourself and how you want to prepare your heirs and not be a burden on your heirs. You know your family down the road, you know, all those things.  Then you’re spending decisions it’s a lack and and disturbing. Is this a social need or is this an ego desire and have I weighed the impacts of this decision and is it bring me joy to my life. I know I personally do not want to get to the end of the month and get my credit card bill that I can’t pay off and lament on, you know, why did we go out to dinner. You know we went out because I just didn’t feel like cooking dinner that night. That was you know we make decisions and we don’t really see them through. So we don’t want to get to the end of our month and wondering how we’re going to pay the credit card bill. We want to go out for dinner and really really enjoy it. We may only do it once a month. We may only do it you know once a week. I don’t know what your safe boundaries are but everybody needs to look at that.

[00:20:31] Absolutely. And I’m even on fixed budgets even people that don’t have that quote unquote ideal retirement. When you look at the fact that you’re going to have to eat a meal anyway I’m going to go back to the story from Argentina. You have to eat anyway you’re going to spend money on groceries anyway. It just would cost maybe a little extra to have a little extra food and invite some friends over. I mean what a great way to spend an evening entertaining guests whether they’re in your neighborhood or from your church or from your the club that you’ve joined or you know wherever you’re connecting with people bring them over for an evening. And that’s an evening well spent. Exactly.  And that’s joyful. Right. You’re having joy in that. So it doesn’t cost much to do that.

[00:21:13] Well and that’s a perfect idea with that is that you value relationship so you want to make your spending decisions based on your core values.

[00:21:25] That example that you just gave is I value relationship and if you value relationship and your money is a flow of your intention and a flow of your values you can choose Yeah, I’m just going to invite my friends, we’re going to go out to eat. And at the end of the month I get a credit card bill and go Well it really wasn’t that fun cause I can’t pay the credit card bill or you can choose to build relationships by having a potluck and playing games at home and enjoying the evening. And that’s where that conscious financial decision that intentional mindful thought out whether it is buying groceries or getting online and making a decision about this item or you know piece of clothing or whatever it is to just think it through a little bit. When I when I talk about the difference between a sole need and an ego desire people go oh wow you’re getting esoteric here. But I think we’ve all heard is it a need or want. You know and that’s that’s kind of back to that quantitative.  Well, I just want it. I’m just going to get it now. I think that idea of a soul need. I’ve had clients that I went in particular that this gal was she had somewhat of a limited income and she had an opportunity to go to India and to spend some time at a monastery. And I looked at the spending plan and it was pretty tight to be able to do this. And we really talked it through. As to what kind of choices she would need to make if she wanted to do this then that is going to change some of the other decisions that she needs to make over the next month. But it was a sole need. She goes I need to do this to feed my soul. I need this to heal.  She’d been through a divorce and as a financial adviser my job is not to again judge you and define what you should or should not be spending your money on. It is for me to help you uncover what are these soul needs and then how are we going to help you have it happen. But if we’re making our spending decisions based on I need to get this type of car because my you know the people in my neighborhood drive this and it’s more of an ego desire. I think it leaves us feeling unfulfilled and I’ll challenge you on that. I again it’s not not my if you need to make that decision and have it play out you know. Go. Go right ahead. But I want to challenge people to think Is this a spending choice that is going to bring me joy that is based on the my my values my soul needs or am I making this decision am I pushing this button on the computer to either create an experience or something that is just eating my ego.

[00:24:41] Yeah absolutely no that’s that’s that’s pressure that makes a lot of sense. And the nice thing is you’re there to tell them the impact of their decision whether it’s a soul need, a selfish need, a want, a desire that’s frivolous or desire that’s actually a true desire that that is also needed. You can tell them the positive and negative of that situations to still allow them to make the decision and be ready to guide them in just that thought process and everybody needs that.  Right.

[00:25:11] I think you know again I’m in this business I deal with it every day and it’s right in front of me and as I’ve worked with clients throughout the years they make a variety of decisions and I have about it from you. I did not judge.

[00:25:26] We are each on our own journey and my job as a financial life adviser is to educate you as to your options to show you the financial context of how that decision may play out down the road. If I have people who feel they’re making spending choices in their retirement years and they have limited resources and I’m saying boy you’re safe boundaries you are swimming outside the safe boundaries. I can show you at this drawdown rate – you continue spending at this rate and you’re going to be running out of money and we can’t get you into an aggressive portfolio right now because that’s taking on too much volatility in the market, given our current market environment or current economic season.

[00:26:15] We can play all of this out but the behavior is going to be based on your belief systems on your attitudes on making sure that you have somebody walk through you know these choices and help you to feel good about you know the decisions you’re making one way or another.

[00:26:37] Yeah absolutely. And Danielle I know that you’ve spoken about it on this podcast before. And for anybody listening Danielle has some great resources one of the resources is these four affirmations are on the website and I’m going to ask her to give you that website address so you can go download that for yourself. Also Danielle I know you have the E course that can help people learn a lot of the stuff. Can you give us that information so they have it.

[00:27:02] Thank you. Yeah I think it’s really important that you find an advocate to walk alongside you and for many people you know thinking about going and hiring a financial adviser can be a little whether it’s intimidating or just the time element.

[00:27:18] So one of the things that we decided would be a benefit for folks is to create an eight week course that will walk them through all these different aspects of your retirement season you know what is this vision of your true wealth. What are all the financial pieces. How to use them wisely. And that’s available now at WW. Danielle Howard number four letter U dot com. I think it’s a way for people to access a really deep broad perspective on this time of life and how to make the most out of it in a very affordable way.

[00:27:57] Our financial affirmations are available again at Danielle Howard number four letter U dot com. We have it in a format you can print out it’s 2 per page so you can print out one for yourself and pin it on your mirror in the morning, hand one to a spouse or a friend so you can help each other.  You know, how’s this working for you.

[00:28:18] How are your belief systems.  What behaviors – and let’s start talking about this.  If you feel that you are ready for a personal journey of financial health or and more of an individualized approach you can give us a call at 9 7 0 9 2 7 3 9 0 9 or check out the journey of financial health at www wealth by design number 4 letter U dot com. So variety of ways that we can work alongside you in in looking at how to create a healthy financial life in this fall rewirement refirement retirement season of life.  Awesome. Awesome.

[00:29:02] And for those of you listening if you have ever read anything about successful sports stars they all say that they had a coach in their life that coaches them. They all have coaches that currently coach them to make them the best they are.  Even the best of the best have to have somebody walking beside them. So it’s an accountability partner and somebody that makes you think outside the box or ask you those questions that you need to be asked and then hold you accountable to the decisions that you’re making. And that’s exactly what Danielle is to her clients. She walks beside them does not push them does not walk in front of them to clear the way walks right beside them to help guide them and ask those questions that need to be asked.  So if you know that that’s true that every successful person has found somebody to be an accountability partner and walk with them then make that decision. Make the phone call or get into the E course. Sign up for that. Download the affirmations and have a friend walk through it with you. You’ll be greatly benefited and you won’t regret it one bit. So again thank you Danielle for all your time today.

[00:30:02] Appreciate you, Aric.

[00:30:03] You betcha. And thank you all for listening to the Wealth Done Differently Retirement Podcast with Danielle Howard. If you have not subscribed to Danielle’s podcast yet please click the subscribe now button below. This way when Danielle comes out with a new podcast it’ll show up directly on your listening device. This makes it much easier to share these podcasts with your friends and family and that person that you’re going to give that other copy of the affirmations to. And again thanks for listening today.  For everyone at Wealth Done Differently – Retirement, this is Aric Johnson reminding you to live your best day every day. And we’ll see you next time.

[00:30:34] Thank you for listening to the Wealth Done Differently – Retirement Podcast. Click the subscribe button below to be notified when new episodes become available. The information covered and posted represents the views and opinions of the guest and does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of Wealth By Design, LLC.

The Content has been made available for informational and educational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional investing advice. Always seek the advice of your financial advisor or other qualified service provider with any questions you may have regarding your investment planning. Danielle Howard, Certified Financial Planner ™ is an Investment Advisor Representative of Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, a Registered Investment Advisor.  Securities offered through Cambridge Investment Research Inc., a Broker/Dealer, Member FINRA/SIPC. Cambridge and Wealth By Design, LLC. are not affiliated.

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Positive Money Affirmations

Support yourself through the financial seasons of your life